Headcanon: When Hawke and Fenris are cleaning out part of his mansion they find a dead rat and instead of doing the normal thing, Hawke throws is out the window into a group of noblewomen (who scream and scatter) then ducks and yells “You could say it’s raining rats here in Kirkwall haahah.”
And Fenris is just like: that is the worst joke, it’s not even funny, Why not dispose of the dead rat properly, why did you need to throw it at rich women, I am in love with you.
One time this girl really hated me and wanted to ruin my reputation or something so one day i was talking to a boy and she came up and really obnoxiously said “you know she has a crush on you right?” and he was like “man i hope so or else this is gonna get really awkward”
She fuckin told my boyfriend that i liked him
The other day I had a really good idea for a story:
A high school Shakespeare club angrily splits into two groups when they can’t agree on the correct interpretation of Romeo and Juliet. One group thinks it’s a cautionary tale about the stupidity of youth and shallow lust; the other group think it’s a beautiful tragedy about poisonous hatred conquered by love. Reconciliation seems impossible-
-then a person from one group falls in love with a person from the other
If you’re Christian I hope you don’t believe asexuality exists because you are implying you and/or others are immune from sinful lust, which is applying divine properties to humans and therefore defying crucial theological principles.
It’s just in asexuals are actually have divine properties
lmao oh my goodness
finally the recognition i deserve, the godly kind
man. I have actually wondered from time to time how my asexuality would be regarded by my old church? I think I have my answer, and it’s just as dumb as I should have expected.
that look alistair gives the warden right after they wake up from their first nightmare in camp, though
full of i know, and i’ve been there, and i’m so sorry
and i’m here
don’t worry. even though you’re leading us… i’ll be here to take care of you.
in most of the modern AUs i see everyone is made human and i???? I DONT WANT THAT!!! i want modern fantasy where pretty much everything is the way it is in the real world but with mages and elves and qunari and dwarves and everyones just living everyday life
BOW DOWN TO THE LOBSTER LIFTING QUEEN
idk about yesterday’s total. Maybe like $150 with the 5 pairs of earrings?
Yeah I lifted a vibe from spencers too. A label on the side said there was a security device enclosed. That was a lie.
what the FUCK this bitch stole LOBSTERS that’s some real next level shit
1. stealing lobsters
2. making stealing lobsters part of your personal brand
I love everything about this
how the fuck do u steal a lobster let alone 2 im so done omfg
SHOPLIFTING TUMBLR IS FUCKING WILD